A few tips on writing poetry from the Adventure Poet, aka Sal Nomar Turner--Sal doesn't believe in blogs, so I'm posting these for him.

Suggestion 31. As you move among an oak tree's limbs with someone below shooting at you with a BB gun, write a poem. Xerox that poem 100 times and distribute it at your local grocery store or fruit stand.
Tips
*Though you might prefer to have the person below use a stronger gun, I suggest sticking to the BB gun. The sting of a BB will keep you motivated.
* When distributing the poetry, I like to claim that it was written by Shakespeare and that I am only distributing it because it is his birthday.

Suggestion 35. While carving your initials into your left thumb, write an epic concerning the conquest of Mars.
Tips
*This one is best done in the dark.
*If you are a slow writer, you might want to carve your entire name.

Suggestion 39. Put copies of your poems into waterproof glass cases. Then, in a small sailboat, take the cases two miles off the coast of Chios and drop the cases into the water. If the Turkish armed forces try to stop you, try to outrun them. Once back in Chios, imagine that you are Homer and try to rewrite his epics from a contemporary perspective.
Tips
*The glass cases sold at http://waterproofglasscasesforpoetry.com seem to work the best to me. E-mail Arnie.
*Try to write the epics in one sitting each. It’s not that hard if you use a large scroll.

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