Because of the heavy e-mail response to yesterday’s post, I’ve decided to write a series of poetry writing tips.   These are not for the faint of heart, only for people dedicated to poetry.

Tip 1.
Strip.  Take a sharpie and start writing whatever comes to your head on your body.  Once your entire body is covered, go to a copy machine.  Randomly make copies of all the parts.  Each part is a poem.

Tip 1.1
Write a poem on your computer, preferably a tablet or laptop, then submerge the device in a tub of water for ten minutes.  Retrieve the device, place it on a table, and on a separate computer, write a sestina about your experience.

Tip 1.2
Find a poetry workshop teacher.  Get him/her intoxicated before class (quite easy to do) and lock him/her up in a closet.  Enter the classroom and pretend to be a substitute teacher.  Collect all the poems for the day and then claim them as your own.  

Tip 1.3
Take one of your old poems.  Run it through a translator several times.  Then, erase every other line and rewrite them.  (You can repeat this process for an entire book of poems.)

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